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Cut the crap!
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When we launched this community in the spring of 2009 it was imperative for us to be honest and straightforward in everything we did. We were creating an online arena for families and wanted to be certain that we could vouch for the reliability, identity and commitment of everyone involved. Our No-Bull-Policy played an important part and every new member pledged to adhere to its rules. It has served us well.
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The web is a lively place and forever changing. Towards the end of 2014 we decided to look for a solution for the growing discrepancies between over-curated profiles and the realities of daily life.
So we had this idea ... |
The experiment |
From April 2015 to March 2016 we conducted an experiment.
Twelve months, twelve-thousand families. |
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6,000 families who had joined Global Natives between Jan. and March 2015 plus another 6,000 families who had joined some time before March 2013 participated in this experiment.
This way we had a fine balance between newcomers and quite experienced members. Their participation was voluntary, there were no bonus points to be gained. |
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All participants - mums and dads, kids and grandparents and the dog - pledged to adhere to the guidelines laid out here.
Below you find an over-view of what we learned from the experiment so far: it turned out to be both addictive and viral! As from April 2016 we asked every new member family to adopt the guidelines. Voluntarily. They did. Today, all members do. |
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Online honesty is the quality benchmark of social media.
However, it is not easy to put aside everything you've gotten used to on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. and
stick to what's true and relevant instead: No self-flattery, no self-branding, no omissions. It takes self-discipline!
stick to what's true and relevant instead: No self-flattery, no self-branding, no omissions. It takes self-discipline!
Nothing justifies a careless attitude with what's right and wrong.
We could simply say "no, thank you" to a proposal we don't fancy. Instead, we prefer to take evasive action. We kid ourselves that we're being diplomatic when in fact we're simply avoiding the argument of having to discuss "why not?". We use the best photographs of ourselves, knowing perfectly well that we don't really look like this anymore. And we'd rather not say that we're unemployed right now. Oh no, we are looking for new challenges because we are living euphemisms of ourselves!
We would never say that one of our kids is a real pain in the neck and does not seem to come out of puberty - ever! - and we certainly keep it to ourselves when a family member is diagnosed with a serious illness. We don't mention it because it is nobody's business and we want to present ourselves as being in control of our lives. From dyslexia to an impending divorce, from a speech impediment to a teenage pregnancy - these things have no place in a family's online profile. Or so we think.
We would never say that one of our kids is a real pain in the neck and does not seem to come out of puberty - ever! - and we certainly keep it to ourselves when a family member is diagnosed with a serious illness. We don't mention it because it is nobody's business and we want to present ourselves as being in control of our lives. From dyslexia to an impending divorce, from a speech impediment to a teenage pregnancy - these things have no place in a family's online profile. Or so we think.
12,000 families however did make a conscious effort to be truthful and complete. They have never looked back since. |
Their online honesty made interaction with others much more cordial,
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Families who put all "the good, the bad and the ugly" on their profiles had considerably fewer contact requests than member families usually have. But the requests they did receive were excellent matches from the start. It soon became obvious that participating families found their ideal relationships faster than the long established average - they had simply shifted their compatibility filter to the very start of the reaction chain.
Why is that so? Because virtually everyone out there has comparable troubles and sorrows to cope with and is relieved to find like minded folks who openly live the entire spectrum of joy and worry that makes a perfectly normal family.
Relationships
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But until they fail
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The perks of online honesty. What we have learned so far:
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Addictive |
An honest profile and a sincere story get you genuine, authentic responses.
You will be treated as the person you really are. You will like it too much to go back to a euphemised version of yourself. You will not want to miss the new quality of understanding, cordiality and connectedness. And you will find that it saves you time and energy because it really "cuts the crap". |
Viral |
Being faced with a straightforward, no frills personality brings out the best in other people.
It makes them feel that they too can be just themselves and be readily accepted that way. They realize that their own strengths and weaknesses are - above all else - human. Cutting the crap is clearly here to stay. |