The Bad Students StoriesNote: The Eye-Opener is not a service you book or a purchase you make.
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In 2010, Emma was our very first applicant for the Eye-Opener Grant.
In hindsight, she can explain why adolescents so often can't help themselves. |
What handicap?
One of our all-time favourites, a story very dear to our hearts. 💞 |
This story dates from March 2020, the early days of the "Lockdown Talks".
"And I thought I knew my kids well" demonstrates the struggle of being listened to. |
Dominik
"Dominik, dumm und dick!" used to be his classmates' favourite greeting every morning.
"Stupid and fat". In German, this rhyme clearly worked well with his name. It hurt every time.
Today, Dominik is a 35-year old father of three, he's slim and fit, cheerful and full of ideas. His career looks very promising, in the advertising industry he is seen as one of the most talented and innovative minds around.
At the age of fourteen, however, he caused his mum a lot of heartache.
Dominik hated school, he feared the bullies who gave him a hard time every day and his teachers were at a loss; there was not one subject in which he would show some interest. An unhappy, tubby and difficult kid. Until Jutta moved in next door.
Jutta was a 24-year-old student from the countryside who had come to Berlin for her master’s degree. She used to go for
a long walk every day and invited her young neighbour to come along. She told him: "Self-pity is high in calories."
Soon he started to love his walks with Jutta and the conversations they had.
She said: "Walking opens the doors of the mind."
And she was right. Instead of watching TV and eating everything within reach, Dominik now walked and talked. By the time he turned sixteen, he was no longer tubby and grumpy, and had real plans for his life. He brought home good grades too.
During their walks and conversations, Jutta also told him something that became his personal eye-opener.
She said: "Every time you feel sad or disheartened or really pissed off with your life, take a walk and watch all the people you come across. Don't walk in the fancy parts of town, go to where poorer people live, take a ride on the bus. See how this old man over there limps badly, how this young woman in her wheelchair struggles with the pavement border? Do you notice the woman in the back of the bus with her kids? You can see that she's been crying. There is a young homeless bloke in the doorway over there. Smile at him, and you will see that he has only a few teeth left in his mouth.
Try to imagine what it might take to help, to make things better.
Over time, you will start to come up with more and more ideas. They will give you a direction in life."
Today, Dominik is a passionate Global Native, teaches his kids never to turn away from other people's troubles, makes sure his agency does regular jobs for charities for free and puts great thought and effort into mentoring youngsters in the Bad Students Society. Jutta, a behavioural psychologist and highly renowned author, is his close friend and counsellor.
"Stupid and fat". In German, this rhyme clearly worked well with his name. It hurt every time.
Today, Dominik is a 35-year old father of three, he's slim and fit, cheerful and full of ideas. His career looks very promising, in the advertising industry he is seen as one of the most talented and innovative minds around.
At the age of fourteen, however, he caused his mum a lot of heartache.
Dominik hated school, he feared the bullies who gave him a hard time every day and his teachers were at a loss; there was not one subject in which he would show some interest. An unhappy, tubby and difficult kid. Until Jutta moved in next door.
Jutta was a 24-year-old student from the countryside who had come to Berlin for her master’s degree. She used to go for
a long walk every day and invited her young neighbour to come along. She told him: "Self-pity is high in calories."
Soon he started to love his walks with Jutta and the conversations they had.
She said: "Walking opens the doors of the mind."
And she was right. Instead of watching TV and eating everything within reach, Dominik now walked and talked. By the time he turned sixteen, he was no longer tubby and grumpy, and had real plans for his life. He brought home good grades too.
During their walks and conversations, Jutta also told him something that became his personal eye-opener.
She said: "Every time you feel sad or disheartened or really pissed off with your life, take a walk and watch all the people you come across. Don't walk in the fancy parts of town, go to where poorer people live, take a ride on the bus. See how this old man over there limps badly, how this young woman in her wheelchair struggles with the pavement border? Do you notice the woman in the back of the bus with her kids? You can see that she's been crying. There is a young homeless bloke in the doorway over there. Smile at him, and you will see that he has only a few teeth left in his mouth.
Try to imagine what it might take to help, to make things better.
Over time, you will start to come up with more and more ideas. They will give you a direction in life."
Today, Dominik is a passionate Global Native, teaches his kids never to turn away from other people's troubles, makes sure his agency does regular jobs for charities for free and puts great thought and effort into mentoring youngsters in the Bad Students Society. Jutta, a behavioural psychologist and highly renowned author, is his close friend and counsellor.
Jimmy
Jimmy decided at the age of 16 that he had no interest in anything other than playing Minecraft. At first his mum, a single mother and a waitress in a French restaurant, thought this was a phase, something that would go away, sooner or later.
It didn't.
Jimmy eventually dropped out of school, had no intention of contributing to the household or its budget, needed little
to eat and hardly anything else. And his mum was deeply worried, sometimes crying herself to sleep in despair.
By the time Jimmy turned 18, his uncle Jeremy had an idea. He searched for popular Minecraft players in the Global
Natives community, managed to find one and wrote to him about Jimmy, adding Jimmy's mobile phone number.
Jeremy told us: "I have no idea what this guy did or said, but it worked. Jimmy never told me nor anyone else.
But within a week, he went out to look for a job." That's three years ago by now.
He's become an excellent coder and holds a good job as a Full-Stack Web Developer. And he's still a Minecraft player.
Jeremy believes that he may not have been able to make this guy do or say what he did to Jimmy, had he not been
a passionate Global Native family man as well. With a great talent to act as a catalyst and eye-opener, it would seem.
What's more, it may also have been him who convinced Jimmy to think about volunteering:
He's now driving an ambulance, doing two, sometimes even three, night shifts every month.
It didn't.
Jimmy eventually dropped out of school, had no intention of contributing to the household or its budget, needed little
to eat and hardly anything else. And his mum was deeply worried, sometimes crying herself to sleep in despair.
By the time Jimmy turned 18, his uncle Jeremy had an idea. He searched for popular Minecraft players in the Global
Natives community, managed to find one and wrote to him about Jimmy, adding Jimmy's mobile phone number.
Jeremy told us: "I have no idea what this guy did or said, but it worked. Jimmy never told me nor anyone else.
But within a week, he went out to look for a job." That's three years ago by now.
He's become an excellent coder and holds a good job as a Full-Stack Web Developer. And he's still a Minecraft player.
Jeremy believes that he may not have been able to make this guy do or say what he did to Jimmy, had he not been
a passionate Global Native family man as well. With a great talent to act as a catalyst and eye-opener, it would seem.
What's more, it may also have been him who convinced Jimmy to think about volunteering:
He's now driving an ambulance, doing two, sometimes even three, night shifts every month.
Yrsa
Yrsa grew up with reindeer and lots of snow. Her parents are quite open-minded folks, interested in politics and sciences, they also have an extensive library. However, their home - some 200 km north of Rovaniemi - is a truly lonely place and
Yrsa felt terribly isolated.
Puberty hit her hard. With four younger brothers and no girl her age anywhere in the neighbourhood, her loneliness
became unbearable. Yrsa did not want to study any longer, did not want to do any chores around the house any more,
did not even want to chat and take walks with her mum, whom she loved dearly.
But on her 16th birthday, Yrsa's parents had a truly special gift for her:
Grandma had just given the family a membership with the Global Natives community and now there was this voucher
for a summer holiday in Europe, just waiting right next to the birthday cake, for Yrsa to do something cool with!
For the next weeks, she was busy online, searching the community for the right partners. Her criteria were clear:
She was looking for peers who lived somewhere warm and sunny, who spoke good English and at least one more
language and - of course, narrowing her options - were very much into comedy.
The birthday gift had triggered a realization: What she really wanted was to laugh and make others laugh.
For this, she needed other people from all walks of life who were ready to share their sense of humour.
Next summer, Yrsa travelled to Brussels, met her new soul mate Mattie (17) for the first time and, together with Mattie's older sister Angie (22), travelled to France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Montenegro, Greece, Slovenia, Austria and Germany by Interrail. Everywhere they visited kindred spirits.
Three years on, their tribe has grown to over two hundred teenagers, all keen to share what they consider great humour.
This is more than a good laugh for these kids: They couldn't be more eager to speak each other's languages well.
And none of them will ever have to feel lonely again. With them, Yrsa is ready to build her life as a laughing global citizen.
Yrsa felt terribly isolated.
Puberty hit her hard. With four younger brothers and no girl her age anywhere in the neighbourhood, her loneliness
became unbearable. Yrsa did not want to study any longer, did not want to do any chores around the house any more,
did not even want to chat and take walks with her mum, whom she loved dearly.
But on her 16th birthday, Yrsa's parents had a truly special gift for her:
Grandma had just given the family a membership with the Global Natives community and now there was this voucher
for a summer holiday in Europe, just waiting right next to the birthday cake, for Yrsa to do something cool with!
For the next weeks, she was busy online, searching the community for the right partners. Her criteria were clear:
She was looking for peers who lived somewhere warm and sunny, who spoke good English and at least one more
language and - of course, narrowing her options - were very much into comedy.
The birthday gift had triggered a realization: What she really wanted was to laugh and make others laugh.
For this, she needed other people from all walks of life who were ready to share their sense of humour.
Next summer, Yrsa travelled to Brussels, met her new soul mate Mattie (17) for the first time and, together with Mattie's older sister Angie (22), travelled to France, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Montenegro, Greece, Slovenia, Austria and Germany by Interrail. Everywhere they visited kindred spirits.
Three years on, their tribe has grown to over two hundred teenagers, all keen to share what they consider great humour.
This is more than a good laugh for these kids: They couldn't be more eager to speak each other's languages well.
And none of them will ever have to feel lonely again. With them, Yrsa is ready to build her life as a laughing global citizen.
Akio
Akio comes from a large family who runs a number of hotels in Osaka, Japan. The entire extended family have been active Global Natives for years, encouraging all their children to speak multiple languages and think as global citizens. Naturally,
the next generation is expected to find their calling in the hotel and catering trade too. Expansion is on their agenda.
Akio speaks fluent Mandarin, English, Spanish and German. In 2018, he spent a year in Cologne, working his way through
all the different jobs in a well known hotel. Although Akio was on very cordial terms with his entire family and enjoyed working with people a lot, he had often felt an overwhelming emptiness. It made him feel quite depressed at times.
Yet, as a good son, it had never occurred to him that he might just be in the wrong profession.
That is, until he sat and watched TV one Sunday, just before lunch, with Hannes, the senior head receptionist, a gentle,
well-spoken gentleman in his early sixties. Hannes wanted to see his favourite programme "Sternstunde Philosophie" on
a Swiss channel. This ended Akio's career in the hotel business.
He was simply blown away and decided there and then: "I want to study philosophy".
With Hannes' help, he succeeded in convincing his parents to let him do just that. Hannes told them how much he would have loved to study philosophy in his younger days, but his family insisted he should hold a "proper job". They understood.
Today, Akio is happy at university, his emptiness has disappeared long time ago. In future, he wants to spread Sir Ken's message and contribute to innovating education, connecting global thinking with the pursuit of a fulfilling life.
the next generation is expected to find their calling in the hotel and catering trade too. Expansion is on their agenda.
Akio speaks fluent Mandarin, English, Spanish and German. In 2018, he spent a year in Cologne, working his way through
all the different jobs in a well known hotel. Although Akio was on very cordial terms with his entire family and enjoyed working with people a lot, he had often felt an overwhelming emptiness. It made him feel quite depressed at times.
Yet, as a good son, it had never occurred to him that he might just be in the wrong profession.
That is, until he sat and watched TV one Sunday, just before lunch, with Hannes, the senior head receptionist, a gentle,
well-spoken gentleman in his early sixties. Hannes wanted to see his favourite programme "Sternstunde Philosophie" on
a Swiss channel. This ended Akio's career in the hotel business.
He was simply blown away and decided there and then: "I want to study philosophy".
With Hannes' help, he succeeded in convincing his parents to let him do just that. Hannes told them how much he would have loved to study philosophy in his younger days, but his family insisted he should hold a "proper job". They understood.
Today, Akio is happy at university, his emptiness has disappeared long time ago. In future, he wants to spread Sir Ken's message and contribute to innovating education, connecting global thinking with the pursuit of a fulfilling life.
Claudette
Claudette left school at seventeen. Her parents would have loved to see her study law or medicine, something they never had the chance to do. For this, they had pushed their daughter very hard in school, too hard. So she dropped out.
But now, Claudette found work even more disheartening.
For a whole year, she worked in sales. Then she tried factory work and eventually landed a job in an office.
To no avail, she was deeply unhappy. She'd been an excellent student, was good in maths and had a knack for languages.
If only she had been able to feel like she also had a life, she would have very likely stayed and gone on to university.
But her folks, particularly her father, had been too strict. Suffocatingly strict.
Claudette's mum saw how she suffered and tried to open new doors for her.
She turned to her sister Marie, who was Claudette's godmother and a Global Native.
Marie's three sons used their network extensively, spending every summer abroad. Marie hosted other young people in their place, one of whom - Nick - she introduced to her niece one day. Nick and Claudette hit it off straight away, he was into the same movies, plays and books, their chemistry was right from the start.
But this was not the beginning of a love affair.
It was the beginning of a wonderful friendship, strengthened by a mutual love for the theatre and the stage, for literature and poetry, for musical and opera. When Nick's exchange year was over, he invited Claudette to New York to meet his parents - a stage designer and a playwright. And that's how she found the place where she really belonged - the theatre. Today, Claudette is a production assistant, has already written three plays and has just celebrated one of them -
a comedy - have its first night on stage. Without a door to the outside world, Claudette might have never written a line.
But now, Claudette found work even more disheartening.
For a whole year, she worked in sales. Then she tried factory work and eventually landed a job in an office.
To no avail, she was deeply unhappy. She'd been an excellent student, was good in maths and had a knack for languages.
If only she had been able to feel like she also had a life, she would have very likely stayed and gone on to university.
But her folks, particularly her father, had been too strict. Suffocatingly strict.
Claudette's mum saw how she suffered and tried to open new doors for her.
She turned to her sister Marie, who was Claudette's godmother and a Global Native.
Marie's three sons used their network extensively, spending every summer abroad. Marie hosted other young people in their place, one of whom - Nick - she introduced to her niece one day. Nick and Claudette hit it off straight away, he was into the same movies, plays and books, their chemistry was right from the start.
But this was not the beginning of a love affair.
It was the beginning of a wonderful friendship, strengthened by a mutual love for the theatre and the stage, for literature and poetry, for musical and opera. When Nick's exchange year was over, he invited Claudette to New York to meet his parents - a stage designer and a playwright. And that's how she found the place where she really belonged - the theatre. Today, Claudette is a production assistant, has already written three plays and has just celebrated one of them -
a comedy - have its first night on stage. Without a door to the outside world, Claudette might have never written a line.
Elisabetta
Elisabetta's mum Bella had already suffered multiple miscarriages before she became a mother.
Her desperately longed-for child made her immensely happy, and she did her best to be a loving and understanding parent.
The safety of her daughter had utmost priority. So when Elisabetta wanted to walk to school, Bella would not hear of it.
It would have been a 25-minute walk in the company of her two best friends, but mama insisted on driving her and picking her up again, day after day after day. As Elisabetta grew older, her peers started to take on little jobs to earn a bit of extra money. Her mum said "You don't need that, I give you everything you want anyway."
Eventually, Elisabetta was the only teenager in her class who did not have a smartphone. Her mum was terrified that social media could have a negative influence on her, that she might fall prey to people who did not mean her well and that she could develop an eating disorder or the urge to play computer games.
"A protected child is a happy and safe child." Or so she thought.
Bella would not even allow her daughter to help with the household, for fear of injuries.
So she denied her two elementary things every teenager needs: 1.) To belong, not to be singled out.
2.) To be able to contribute, feel useful and valued.
At fifteen, Elisabetta started to cut herself.
It terrified her mother. So they went to see a therapist. The therapist, Marta, was a mum too.
Marta talked to Elisabetta in private for a long time. Then she asked if they could meet in town for a chat, together with her two best friends. They ended up spending the afternoon in lively conversation, and eventually Marta came to the conclusion that Elisabetta did not need therapy. Her mum did.
In a number of sessions she convinced Bella to let her daughter have more freedom, more rights over her own life, more company of her own age and wider horizons. She recommended two crucial steps: Joining Global Natives and getting a life
of her own, instead of focussing entirely on her child. As it turned out, the two steps worked wonderfully in combination:
Among the very first connections they made was a single dad of three quite cool and cheerful teenagers in Milan, Leo.
Within six months, they had become a complete family, and Elisabetta was delighted to have siblings.
Bella had found the love of her life. It was her who had been in need of an eye-opener.
Her desperately longed-for child made her immensely happy, and she did her best to be a loving and understanding parent.
The safety of her daughter had utmost priority. So when Elisabetta wanted to walk to school, Bella would not hear of it.
It would have been a 25-minute walk in the company of her two best friends, but mama insisted on driving her and picking her up again, day after day after day. As Elisabetta grew older, her peers started to take on little jobs to earn a bit of extra money. Her mum said "You don't need that, I give you everything you want anyway."
Eventually, Elisabetta was the only teenager in her class who did not have a smartphone. Her mum was terrified that social media could have a negative influence on her, that she might fall prey to people who did not mean her well and that she could develop an eating disorder or the urge to play computer games.
"A protected child is a happy and safe child." Or so she thought.
Bella would not even allow her daughter to help with the household, for fear of injuries.
So she denied her two elementary things every teenager needs: 1.) To belong, not to be singled out.
2.) To be able to contribute, feel useful and valued.
At fifteen, Elisabetta started to cut herself.
It terrified her mother. So they went to see a therapist. The therapist, Marta, was a mum too.
Marta talked to Elisabetta in private for a long time. Then she asked if they could meet in town for a chat, together with her two best friends. They ended up spending the afternoon in lively conversation, and eventually Marta came to the conclusion that Elisabetta did not need therapy. Her mum did.
In a number of sessions she convinced Bella to let her daughter have more freedom, more rights over her own life, more company of her own age and wider horizons. She recommended two crucial steps: Joining Global Natives and getting a life
of her own, instead of focussing entirely on her child. As it turned out, the two steps worked wonderfully in combination:
Among the very first connections they made was a single dad of three quite cool and cheerful teenagers in Milan, Leo.
Within six months, they had become a complete family, and Elisabetta was delighted to have siblings.
Bella had found the love of her life. It was her who had been in need of an eye-opener.
From failure to superpower: Today, it is hard to imagine that many of
these bright and inspired young people were "hopeless cases" once :)) What they have to say demonstrates true eye-opening power!" |
This is what it takes for a kid to learn with joy:
A fine balance between "I want to understand" and "I feel understood".
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